Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
