so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
