we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
how does that bad decision feel?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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