you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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