My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
