i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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