plz talk dirty to me
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
