Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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