I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize