The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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