you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
