Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
