You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
