Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
