i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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