Just cropdusted the office
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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