6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
