The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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