Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
