also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize