I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
