Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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