I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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