but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize