Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Drunk is a universal language darling
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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