these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
