i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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