I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
