Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I love having hate sex.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
