I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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