your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
