After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
