can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
