when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
