Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you would pick up someone in the library
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
