So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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