She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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