the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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