so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
