If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
