she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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