The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
