What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
