why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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