I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
