Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
