do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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