No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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