Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
