He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
As shirtless as possible
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
