i think my tv is drunk
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
