have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
