i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Pooping to opera.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
