You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
