is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
