I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize