I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
