I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
