I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
