I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
