I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
