I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
