Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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